Hi, I'm Rowan. I'm the Gluten Freak.
That name isn't a marketing gimmick. It's a diagnosis. I have celiac disease, an autoimmune condition caused by exposure to wheat gluten. Not a preference. Not a trend. Not something I cheat on at parties. For me, gluten-free isn't a lifestyle choice; it's the whole lifestyle.
How I Got Here
I ate gluten for 39 years and had no idea what it was doing to me. Then one night I had a seizure in my sleep, and I woke up in the back of an ambulance. The next morning it happened again, and I woke up in a hospital bed.
After another nocturnal seizure put me back in that hospital, waking up in pain and out of answers, my wife took my health into her own hands. Honestly, she is the reason this story has a good ending. With her pushing, a functional medicine doctor, and a whole lot of bloodwork, we finally found it: I was celiac. Just not in the way anyone expects.
My digestion was relatively normal. Gluten was not tearing up my bowel the way it does for most celiacs. In me, it was triggering an autoimmune response in my brain, and that response was causing seizures.
Looking back, the signs were there my whole life. The groggy mornings, when getting out of bed felt impossible no matter how many hours I had slept, were likely my body recovering from seizures I never knew happened. The lightheaded spells as an adult, and the few times I "fainted," were likely focal seizures. At 39, it all broke through as grand mal seizures.
So I became a gluten freak. Fully, strictly, read-every-label gluten-free. It was not instant, but within six months the seizures stopped. They have never come back. I am 100% seizure-free, and it happened just by cutting out gluten.
Everyone I tell this to does not believe it. Honestly, I would not have believed it either. And to be crystal clear: this is not health advice, it is only my story. If you are having seizures, or you think you might have celiac, see a medical professional.
What I learned fast is that "gluten-free" on a shelf tag is the beginning of the story, not the end. There's the certified stuff, the "naturally gluten-free" stuff, the "made in a facility that also processes wheat" fine print, and the products that are technically safe and practically inedible. Nobody hands you a map. So I started drawing my own.
What "Strictly" Actually Means
When I say strictly gluten-free, I mean it the celiac way:
- I read the full ingredient list on everything, every time, recipes and suppliers change without asking me first.
- I care about cross-contact, not just ingredients. A shared fryer or a bulk bin scoop can undo a perfectly good label.
- In Canada, a "gluten-free" claim means the food meets Health Canada's standard (under 20 parts per million of gluten). That's the bar I use on this site.
- When a label is ambiguous, I say so. "Probably fine" is not a rating I give.
The Freak Part
Here's the thing nobody tells you about going gluten-free: the products are expensive, and the quality swings wildly. I've paid $8 for bread that could double as a doorstop. And the worst offender of all time is not even a contest: the restaurant gluten-free hamburger bun. Every single one of them. Why are they all so crumbly and horrible? You have not known GF suffering until your burger disintegrates into a pile of crumbs by bite three.
But then there is the other end of the scale. My favourite find so far: the butter tarts from The Silly Yak in Kingston, Ontario. And a pro tip from the Freak himself, they are even better frozen.
After enough doorstops, I got obsessive. I try everything, I keep notes, and I rank it all. That's the freak part, and it's the part that saves you money.
What You'll Get Here
- Packaged food reviews, bought with my own money, eaten by me, scored out of 10, with a straight "worth it / skip it" verdict.
- "Is it gluten free?" guides, the everyday foods and ingredients people Google at the grocery store, answered label by label.
- Recipes, gluten-free versions of food people actually miss, tested until they're worth making twice.
What This Site Is Not
I'm a celiac, not a doctor. This site is my lived experience and a lot of label-reading, it is not medical advice, and it never replaces your own label check, because ingredients and manufacturing change. If you suspect celiac disease, see a doctor (and keep eating gluten until you're tested, seriously, that part matters).
Now, let's find you something good to eat.
Rowan, The Gluten Freak